I bet MY Jesus can beat up YOUR Jesus....

Berkeley was baptised into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints recently.

April 18, 2009 was the day. She was very cute about it all. She was a little nervous about the part where she would be in the water with everyone looking at her. She said "...and that underwear thing doesn't really work for me." I had to laugh. At some point, in her anxiety ridden history, I must have told her to think of everyone in the audience in their underwear. :) We came up with something else that she thought would help...and when we were drying her off in the bathroom after the big dunk, she said "I didn't even have TIME to think of everyone getting their forehead licked...!"

She handled herself with grace throughout the day. I was very proud of her. She was such a little lady in her white dress. She felt like a "beautiful princess" and she looked like one. She made sure to thank people for coming that day and she also thanked people when they handed her a little card or present. Thanks to everyone who came and supported her. We wish we could have invited more, but there were fifty people there as it was!

Here's a picture of the dress she wore:


On a very personal note...
I've been pretty religiously conflicted lately. I'm not spiritually conflicted...but have recently learned some things about the LDS Church that I am not sure if I believe. This is something that has been very difficult for me...especially at a time when Berkeley would be baptised. I was really struggling with allowing her to commit to a religion that I wasn't 100% committed to at the present moment. However, I've come to peace with it. I still believe in 80% of the things I was raised to believe in, probably more than that. Being a member of the Church has blessed my life immensely...and I will never deny that. While I am not sure if I belong "in the church" anymore...I am still aiming to be a very Christian human. I believe in God and Jesus. I believe that we are blessed by working to be more "Christ-like" in our lives. I believe in miracles, angels, feeling inspired, prayer, good values, and more.

If Berkeley is taking a moment in childhood to mark a commitment to these things...I'll support it. In my opinion...very few children will KNOW at age eight if the Church is true. They may KNOW it works for their family. They may KNOW that church makes them happy. They may even have had answers to their prayers. But, the reason I feel that "we" make such a big deal out of them being baptised, is to start them on a clean pathway towards being more Christ-like individuals. They can dedicate a day in their young lives..where they can begin to focus consciously on making good choices, being accountable for stupid ones, and learning MORE about their religion and Who/what they stand for. They can strive to be good examples as friends, family, and in society. This is why I decided that this was a good thing. And it was.

I felt the Spirit on this day. I felt joy and gratitude as I was surrounded by my family~in support of Berkeley~who don't even believe in the LDS faith (or even in God, in some cases) They came anyways. Because they LOVE her and they love me. Whether they wanted to be Christ-like or not...this is the definition of true, Christ-like, love to me.

I hope my children, no matter what religion they do or do not choose in adulthood, will always believe in a Heavenly Father. A God above who created them, loves them, and will help them when they are struggling. A God who can work miracles in their lives, and the many lives around them. A God...who sends us angels....to whisper in our ears when we aren't sure what to do. A God who knows them better than they know themselves. This is what I want for my children. Then, they will never feel totally alone. I've felt pretty alone in my life. Had I not known and believed in God...I don't know how much more hopeless things would have been.

Who knows, on my journey through these doubts, of which side I'll end up. I beg the patience of those around me (both members of the LDS church and not). I may go back, choosing just to "agree to disagree" on some things. Despite what the "nay sayers" of the church say...when we truly strive to live what the church's core goals are....it's a beautiful place to raise your children and self. (I don't know which is harder...raising the girls...or raising me! LOL) But..know this...wherever I end up will be the product of much prayer, fasting, and study. If I don't choose "your way", then know that I've chosen a way that I'm willing to answer to my God for. This is what is important.

If I'm wrong...well, I guess "Hell" will have to decide if they can handle me. ;) (Ten bucks says they'll get rid of me after three days of my constant ruminating!) Heaven or Hell - there better be Coke with lime there...and chips and salsa...and guacamole...and bbq'd steak...and Baskin and Robbins Peanut Butter Chocolate Ice Cream...and...Wicked, the Musical.

On the subject of miracles...
Berkeley's baptism marked the first time, since the divorce, that both families (Steve's and Mine) were in a room together. Our divorce has not been one with many fluffy or amiable feelings, much to my regret. It hasn't been one of much truth either, might I add. (Shit, so much for being Christ-like. Repent, repent....) My focus that day was on Berkeley. I hoped their focus would be that too. I was nervous, but everyone was relatively well-behaved. It was fun to see how the children on Steve's side have grown. It's weird to call them your "nieces and nephews" while you're married for eight years...and then suddenly they are not "yours" anymore. You've loved them, watched them grow, enjoyed watching your children form bonds with them, and then "POOF!" They are not yours...or "your business" anymore. Just another part of divorce that bites the big one.

Big ceremonies in life, big moments with family, big "religious" struggles...all these things make me gather myself into my soul and fill me with gratitude. I AM SO BLESSED. I have so many crappy, crappy things going on in my life right now. But no matter how many times I count my trials...there are always INFINITELY more blessings. God is so mindful of me. He blesses me even when I get ticked with Him. He blesses me even when I am a potty mouth. He blesses me even when I don't necessarily like Sunday School. He blesses me even when it's been awhile since I've thanked him for my blessings.

Enough for now. I love you all so much.

What's In Your Wallet?

Thanks for the picture Ryan and Katy! So sweet! Clover 2009

I've had a terribly bad week. One thing after another. So I decided we can play a game today - to keep things light. Here's how to play:

Pretend it's Monday. (Don't worry, it's just a game. You can go back to Thurs. in a minute!)

You are at the gym.

You open your purse for the first time since last Friday...because you had a lazy weekend at home and had no need for it.

What's the strangest thing you find in that purse of yours?


Me? Half-eaten "McGriddles" Pancakes that McKenna INSISTED on saving for later.

Three days qualifies as "later"...wouldn't you say?

I win.

Need a Self Esteem Boost? Don't Call Us.

I have always felt blessed that Berkeley feels comfortable enough to talk to me about the things her friends and she discuss when I am not there. I hope that she will always feel comfortable to to talk to me about things. However, a couple of days ago Berkeley and I are hanging out, when she tells me the following:

Berkeley: "Abby had this thing on her cheek today, it looked like a zit."

Me: "Oh, that's not good."

Berkeley: "Yah, but I told her not to worry, because her's was small and my Mom's zits are way, way, WAY bigger than that."

Me: "Unfortunately, that's probably true."

Berkeley: "Yah, but Abby said "No," that her "Mom's zits were sooooo HUGE."

While I was mentally trying to pick my self-esteem off the ground...I was also giggling to myself thinking that our daughters were sitting there "trumping" each other with whose Mom had the biggest zits. Hilarious. It reminded me of another time in motherhood when I was bathing Berkeley and said to me:

"Mom, are you ever going to try to look sexy like those Victoria Secret Models in the commercials?"

I can't remember my exact response...but it was something like: "Well, I have tried to look that way...but not everybody looks like that."

She replied: "Well, your hair doesn't really look good like you have it right now..." (it was on top of my head in a nasty looking half ponytail...) "and maybe you could not wear your glasses ~ because you look prettier without them."

Looking back...my sarcastic response to the "Are you ever going to try to be sexy....?" question would be: "Everyday, Berkeley...Everyday." We're always trying to look sexier, skinnier, and younger. But "In My Daughters Eyes", Martina McBride, it's amazing that I was ever attractive enough to produce offspring to insult me. :)

I'm strong enough to take the periodic beatings. Deep down I know that she means no harm at all. Like I said...at least she talks to me. Besides...I like to think that uglier people than me have found someone to think they are sexy.... so I'll never lose hope! LOL

I Love You, Berkeley.

The Nicorette Ghost ??

I can't imagine how hard it would be to quit something that has been a part of your entire life.

When I was younger I used to leave "Stop Smoking" pamphlets around the house for my Mom. I'd leave them in her purse, on her pillows, under the ashtrays... As a thirty-four-year-old now, I still hold out hope that she will quit one of these days. I want her around with us as long as we can possibly have her.

The grandkids have started learning about smoking at school. They know it is bad for your health. They know that Grandma Ladybug smokes. They have heard their parents complain about having to be around it anywhere (not just at Grandma's house). We have heard comments from the girls here and there about their concerns for Grandma...but I had to smile when I saw this note posted at my Mom's recently, on the whiteboard on her fridge:

I had to wonder if my Mom thought I'd "put Berkeley up to it". I didn't. She did this totally and completely on her own. But, I wouldn't have stopped her. It is her way of expressing her fears and worries about Grandma too. These little ladies love their Ladybug beyond measure...and if the power of the "house ghost" is strong enough...he just might be able to work magic...

I love you, Mom. Just when you thought you had escaped all the pamphlet surprises...along came my offspring. :) Sorry about that!

What a way to start the day....

McKenna and I were snuggling in bed Sunday morning...and I decided to grab my phone and take a picture. These are good moments.

New Family Photo...

It's our best photo yet.... Hope you enjoy it as much as we enjoyed making it!

I guess we're going to start doing "Family Nights"....

Berkeley has a great sense of humor and a unique way of saying things. She is honest and painstakingly straightforward. Even when she was little I kept a book of her comments so that I wouldn't forget some of the things she said. Here are some examples:

Example one:

When she was trying on white dresses this week (for her upcoming baptism), I asked her if she liked the dress she currently had on more, the same, or less than the dress she had already gotten at home. She said to me: "Oh, I broke up with that other one."

Example two:

A few weeks ago, McKenna was throwing one of her "fits". McKenna is quite the diva when she isn't getting her way. Berk and I have become accustomed to her "moments"....but this time Berkeley looks at me and says "I like to call her the "fit-maker"...because she throws fits." I am so sure that she isn't aware of the term "widow-maker"...but the ironic way she made her words work together was just funny to me.


Example three:

There's a "flair button" for teachers on Facebook that reads: "Don't believe everything your kid tells you happened at school...and we won't believe everything your kid tells us happened at home." I am clinging to that thought when telling you the next story:

When Berkeley was little I always worried about the fact that she "didn't like" people with darker skin. I worried about her growing up racist and constantly tried to tell her that people were different on the outside, but we all were the same on the inside. It horrified me to think that she might not grow out of this.

Eventually she started calling people "chocolate skin" and "vanilla skin". This was more positive than her other negative comments...so I went with it. For awhile -- I would refer to skin color as "chocolate" or "vanilla". Pre-school teachers and psychologists reassured me she would grow out of it....and thankfully, she did. (I guess it's not SO abnormal for kids to be freaked out about people who look very different from them.)

She hasn't seemed to have an issue about it since Kindergarten....so we haven't talked about it much until the recent election. She always properly referred Barack Obama as "African American", so I didn't see the need to bring up her past issues. However...she came home a few weeks ago....and told me that they were talking about what you should and should not call people of different races. Berkeley proudly says to me "I told my class that we don't like to call them African Americans...so we call them chocolate and vanillas!" My inner thoughts immediately screamed "Oh, dear God, please tell me she did NOT just say that we "didn't like to" call them African Americans...." She did. Needless to say...we had to have a conversation about how we needed to call people their proper names now. But, the damage had been done publically already!


Example four...

While I am sure that her previous comment left me "shining" in the eyes of her teachers...I picked up Berkeley's homework recently to read it through. The students had done an assignment in class where they could fill out what they would like and would not like to do...in regards to a story about "being outside." Here were her statements:


Sleep outside - Berk marked that she WOULD like this.
Reason she would like this: "Because I like outdores."


Then down the list...


Find a place to camp - Berk marked that she WOULD NOT like this.
Reason she wouldn't like it: "Because you have to walk a lot."


Last it read....


Live in a cattle ranch - Berk marked that she WOULD NOT like this.
Reason she would like it: "Becaus its hard work."


Basically...my child likes to be outdoors IF she doesn't have to walk a lot or do any hard work whatsoever... We're SO proud. I am sure her teachers are wondering what the heck I am teaching her at home. I'd write more, but apparently I need to go plan a "Family Night" on "The Value of Hard Work and Physical Exercise." I also haven't finished my "Mother of the Year" application...so that is going to take a little time too...


Cheers.

Cinderella Poopy Pants...

Nothing makes me and Berkeley smile & laugh harder than when McKenna tells me that she wants some "CRAPtain Crunch" for breakfast. No matter how many times I say "CAPtain Crunch? Okay, lets go get you some" -- she still says it the same way the next time around. She does this unintentionally (as far as I can tell). The innocence in it is what makes it so completely funny. It's not gross, like my brother's "gross" humor growing up.

Randy and his friends could spend hours laughing over one, raunchy, fart. The word "buttercup" comes to mind...and it isn't a happy memory. (Shame on big brothers EVERYWHERE for ever doing this to your little sisters!) My eyes are watering now, as I try not to remember.

I wasn't raised a "prude" though, at our house growing up you had to belch at LEAST a seven to even call yourself a "family member." Mom won't admit it now, but she got in on a few contests...and she was the one who started "rating" them, if I remember correctly.

In college, I am embarrassed (now) to say that my GRAND "belching ability" was no secret among my roomies. One of my six roommates was dating a football player, who belched one night in our dorm room. I mentioned that it was a bit "weak"...and that's when the "challenge" began. HE WAS WARNED not to challenge me...but he didn't listen. While sparing you the details...I proudly put him to shame. It was cool to beat the six-foot-tall, "tough guy", but this talent has NOT won me a lot of dates or admiration from the boys over the years. It comes across as "un-lady-like" for some reason ???

So, that said, I have tried so hard NOT to instill in my daughters, the great art of "Fart and Poop Humor." I don't know...it IS funny at times...but who is going to date the girls in college who can make fart sounds with their armpits? Am I wrong? Therefore, I go about my days trying to keep the little princesses "Fart-Humor-Free."

I am not succeeding in the least bit.
This was the conversation in the car last week:



(McKenna is singing a Cinderella song and adding the word "poop poop!" in after every stanza.)

Mom says: "Kenna...There's no "POOP POOP" in the Cinderella story!"

Kenna argues: "Yes DEHR iz! I read about Cinderella...She wived (lived) in a castle! And she pooped all day!"

(Berkeley and McKenna break into laughter in the back seat.)

Then Berkeley chimes in: "YAH! And I read about Cinderella -- She left her shoe --the ONE shoe...And guess what the Prince saw in it? POOP!"

(More hysterical laughter in the back seat from them both.)

McKenna chimes in again: "Cinderella...she had POOP on her blue wedding dress!!! Hahahahaha!"

(They keep laughing. I just shake my head, keep driving, and try not to smile or laugh too hard.)

Then later in that week....
The girls had gone down for bed, but were being restless and not going to sleep.

I holler to them from the livingroom:
"McKenna....You need to settle down! And Berkeley....I heard you talking too..."

The girls are silent...but I hear a "flatulent-like sound" from the bedroom.

McKenna (in some effort not to get in trouble again...and to try to protect Berkeley) yells: "That was Berkeley's butt!"

(I think it is funny...but stay silent. The quiet resumes. Then I hear another "toot":)

McKenna yells: "That was her butt again!"

Looks like somebodys butt is going to get a "time-out" if it doesn't pipe down soon!

First, Second, Third, Fourths, FIFTHS?

Ever heard of it? Fifth's Virus. It's a skin rash...Berkeley's was on her face. It started Friday and just looked like a few little pimples coming up on the skin. Then, throughout the weekend it spread a bit. Berkeley's cheeks would go really red and blotchy. It would come, go away, come again, go away. Lotion didn't help. Allergy medicine didn't help. Weird, right? Well, after going to the doctor, it turns out she has a skin virus called FIFTH's. It doesn't hurt, burn, itch...nothing. And there's no treatment. You just "wait it out." However, you CAN'T be near pregnant women if you have this virus. It's very dangerous for them...or their babies....and I'm not sure why. I guess you usually get a fever right before the rashes come (we didn't notice this in Berk) and that is when you are contagious. Unfortunately...we were around my pregnant neighbor AND my pregnant friend on Friday. But...just in case we saw YOU on Thursday or Friday...and you are hiding a secret pregnancy ...this is your ALERT to call your OB. Tell them you were exposed.

I'm posting the pictures just as an FYI. You can watch for when your kids get it. It isn't "severe" looking...just rashy.

Anyhow...Christmas was quick and chaotic. I hope to mail out our "Pre-Valentine, Happy Late Christmas and New Years" packages this week. Sorry to those we have failed miserably....we try hard! I just did a lot of photo cd's this year and all the editing takes FOREVER. I love it...but it's time consuming. Here's a review of what our Christmas entailed:

Gingerbread houses.... Always a fun tradition.

I love how you can take this:

And turn it into THIS:

Traditions Continued...We also had a great time this year painting our own wooden ornaments. We did this when I was a child...and although I don't remember painting the ornaments...it was always so fun to see what I had painted and hang it on the tree each year. Here are ours:

McKenna's are all the orange ones...a Christmas color delight for many in the world! (Not.) But hey, she had fun! I had fun too. Berkeley took her time and did her best work. They were excited to hang them on the tree once they had dried.

We did make it to the Zoo Lights this year but not until after Christmas. You would think at this point in this paragraph...I would talk about how cool it was...how much smaller the crowds were after Christmas....or something of the sort. Not so.

People...we are going to talk about hot chocolate.

Lucky for us, going after Christmas meant we got hot chocolate mugs at half price...$4.00 ! WHAT THE HE**!? $4.00 for hot chocolate in a light-up mug? That is insane. And did I mention that was HALF PRICE !?!?! Who pays $8.00 for freaking hot chocolate in a light-up mug??? And, whomever you are, STOP DOING THAT! Shame on you, crazy people. YOU are the reason Hogle Zoo thinks that they can charge this amount!! For that price....it may just be cheaper to treat frostbite. (You don't need all of your fingers anyhow. You have ten of them.) For EIGHT DOLLARS - that mug better wash itself and put itself away. IT WASN'T EVEN DISHWASHER SAFE!

Truly, what is the zoo thinking? It's a mug and it's filled with hot chocolate. EIGHT DOLLARS??? How do people with more than two children afford it? It's a good thing I was able to look past the SICK prices and enjoy the scenery...right? Can't let a little posh hot chocolate ruin the Spirit of the holidays!?

Since we are on the "Spirit" of the season though, our little family did have a GIANT surprise blessing this year. It's hard for me to talk about it, because it still touches my heart so much. But we had a couple "secret" angels of Santa (and Heavenly Father) donate a load of extra presents to the girls for Christmas morning. This came after these two "angels" already had spoiled them openly with gifts. It truly made the girl's Christmas morning, to wake up expecting only three presents each...and seeing such a "plentiful" display. It was overwhelming to me and our cup truly "runneth over". Thank you to them again, you know who you are. You'll never know just how much it meant.

It's always so funny to me how neatly wrapped gifts start like this:

And end up leaving a room looking like this:

It's the MERRY part of Christmas, I suppose!

Jenny Miller, you wished us a very "pink" Christmas.....and I thought I would take a picture of the livingroom Christmas morning...just to show you how accurate you didn't know you were (lol):

Two little girls = A LOT of pink! It's so much fun. It' won't last long.

I get so intimidated as each year as the costs to raise children get bigger and the budget stays the same. But there have been many this year who have helped us out and done little (and BIG) things to help us function comfortably. Obviously my Mom and "Grandpa Russ" are two of those people. They've gone beyond the normal to help us out...and we can't say "thank you" quickly enough...before help is on its way again. This goes the same for Shannon, John, Grandma Debbie, Wolfy, and so many others. I used to be great at getting "thank you" cards out...but not-so-much lately. If I missed saying "thank you" to you...."thanks so much."

Finally, I wanted to mention my absolute gratitude, for the ability to witness yesterday's Presidential Inauguration. I'm so proud of the progress we have made as human beings. I am so grateful my children will be able to live in a world where positive change occurred. It's cheesey...but I stood in my livingroom, made Berkeley hold my hand and watch too, and teared up as Barack Obama took his oath of office. I told Berkeley and McKenna that, one day, they would want to remember where she was in that moment. At four, Kenna most likely won't remember. But at seven-years-old, there's a good chance Berkeley will. I hope so.

Dwindling Moments...

So, I have no uncommon excuses for not keeping things updated around Christmas. There will be a fun update on all of our December activities soon. But, until then, it should suffice to report that no one died while buying, wrapping, giving, or opening presents. The cards got out. The packages are still not mailed. And life will proceed at a quickly moving pace.

That is why tonight, I was blessed to have McKenna fall asleep while laying in my arms. I was reading a blog, talking to Berkeley, and she just wrapped her arm around my neck...and drifted off. Moments like these are dwindling as she grows older (four going on twenty-five)....and so I must savor them.

Thanks, Heavenly Father. I needed that little moment. She's been hard lately.

Pictures I just had to share....

So this will be kind of RANDOM (at best...) but there are some pictures that I have been wanting to share for awhile. I haven't quite figured out a way to tie them into other posts. So...here we go! All in the name of humoring Mel:

I love this picture . Don't know why. Can't really explain it. I am quite "intimacy deprived"...it could be that. But this was awesome to me!

Who thought of this? And better yet....Who was able to create this with a computer? Soooo cool!

Next....

Never short of creating laughs at our house....

One day I was sitting in the livingroom and Berkeley just wandered out with this "get up" on. The photos may lead the average parent to ask...."How does a child create this look from the"dress up" box? " Well...it seems to be a combination of Sunday clothes (from her closet), and the "Doctor Kit" drawer accessories. Berkeley looked so serious, that it left me no doubt that my "crazy" gene had transfered over to her juuuuuuuuuust fine!

~I like to call this look "The Crazy Amish Lady".

Next...

I flew to St. Louis in October, for one of my best friend's weddings. I ran across one of the cutest window displays I'd seen in awhile. I just thought it was so fun. So I took a picture of it for you all:

Mini Denim Jeans! (Can you imagine the NUT that sewed all of those? Insane!) When this window display "expires".... some store employee is going to give these to her daughter...and that girl's Barbie is gonna be "set" with her new "jeans collection" for 2009! I'm almost jealous for Berkeley and McKenna right now, almost.

I took a "close-up" too (cuz I know you're beggin for more!):

I love how each little jean is "posed and placed." So fun! Clearly I need to get out and have "big girl" time more often, since I came home with a picture of this window....and took no photos of the "famous ARCH". But this was my thought: There are probably TONS of great pictures of that arch online. I can look-it-up IF I need to see it again. But pictures of cute window displays...with MINI JEANS?

Well, I guess I could just go into the girls room and look through the Barbie clothes....

And finally....

The Halloween Costume McKenna just HAD to have in AUGUST...we purchased and she REFUSED to wear the wig at all. It was the thing that "made" the costume...since Kenna is brunette and Sharpay from HSM is blonde. However, she put the costume on WITH the wig a few days ago....and it was so cute! So I had to share:

She realized she forgot the ever important, LIPSTICK, so we had to capture that photo moment too.

"This Little Light of Mine ~ I'm Gonna Let it Shine!"

Berkeley, my seven-year-old, has struggled with Selective Mutism since she was quite young. This is a condition in which a child has major anxiety speaking in social situations. They may speak freely and in a normal voice tone at home, but anywhere else outside of the home can be a struggle. Children who suffer from SM can react to their anxiety by being completely silent or masking their real voice in an effort to "hide" themselves. In Berkeley's situation, she has almost always refused to speak publically...or she would speak in a very high "mousey" tone, which few could understand. This made things difficult when pre-school and kindergarten started. Near the middle of Berk's kindergarten year, we sought help through the school's speech therapist, a school counselor, and an outside source for therapy as well. She made huge improvements in the first grade and has done REMARKABLY well in second grade. She still occasionally struggles or hesitates to speak in front of her class or groups, but I can't complain when comparing to what things were like before.

For me as a mother, this has been really hard to watch a child go through. Always being incredibly social and verbal myself, I couldn't believe one of MY children would be shy or anxious about talking to anyone! In fact, I always thought my kids would have the opposite problem. It was also difficult for me to see what a fun, outgoing, free-spirit Berkeley was at home -- and then see her completely shut down. She was holding her true self from the world, and to me, that was tragic. She is a bundle of spirit, love, and humor when she is comfortable. I would look at pictures like these below.... and wonder why she couldn't just be comfortable in who she was:


This week though... something fantastic happened...

I got a call from a school PTA member. Berkeley has taken the "Grand Prize" in the K-2nd grade Literature category for the 2008 Reflections Contest! I was so surprised and excited for her! She would be so proud! But then the PTA lady dropped the bomb: "We were wondering if Berkeley would be willing to read her poem in the school assembly honoring Reflections winners- tomorrow!" Immediately I knew that wasn't about to happen --even on a good day for Berk. I explained Berkeley's speaking issues to the lady. She offered to have Berkeley read her poem on a video camera (and then they could play it for the school) if she felt more comfortable that way. It was worth a shot.

I wish you all could have seen that sweet girls face when I told her that she won! It was priceless. She immediatley asked...."Am I going to be on t.v.?" I told her that there was no t.v. broadcast....but that she was invited to read it in front of the school the next day. She blurted out the second-grader equivalent of "Not just 'no', but HELL NO!". I explained the "video taping" option to her and she refused that too. But as the night went on...she was considering it. I couldn't believe it!

Sometimes our children will move mountains right before our eyes -- and Berkeley's mountain was before her. She came home from her Dad's that night, asked me to curl her hair for the video taping, put on some pink eye shadow and lip gloss....and recited that poem FROM MEMORY --right into the camera!!! I couldn't believe it. It was even very close to her normal voice tone! Truly she was not about to let her "big moment" pass her by in silence.

The next day, I was SURE she would decide to just "bag it" last minute. But we got up early....curled every stitch of her hair....and 'off' to school she went. The assembly came - they announced her name - and she walked up to accept her award. They played the video. She stood there while the crowd applauded...and I was a teary mess of pride! Even her past teachers were blown away at what they were seeing. It was AWESOME!! So many people came up to her afterwards, congratulating her and hugging her. It was a BIG moment. She had overcome something inside of her. Even if it was temporary, she had allowed her true self to be seen!

That night...she snuck into the livingroom after her sister had fallen asleep. She said to me with a smile..."I was kind of embarassed when they played that video for the school." I looked at her and said "Yah....but did a little, tiny part of you feel really proud too?" She shook her head "yes"-- and we talked again about how awesome that day was.

Tiny miracles. One day at a time. One proud little-girl and one VERY proud Mom.

"You did it kiddo! Way to go!"

Her film is below. It is a little dark in the background...but the sound is great. You may need to turn it up--but she speaks clearly. Enjoy it!

For when your kitchen table has that "not so fresh" feeling...

It's been awhile and I apologize. Life just takes over sometimes...and I have just been working to keep up with it. I'll dive in on what we've been up to...it's a long one, people. Thanks for those who actually read it all the way through! I'll use a lot of pictures to try and keep you entertained as I ramble about the cuties.

McKenna started pre-school in September. It is so cute to see her with the other kids because she is so tiny. I kept thinking how fun it would be to see them all lined up together, so I asked them to pose one day. Here are the photos:

See that little, tiny, bug (second to from the left)? That's McKenna!

Here's a closer look:

McKenna has decided recently though, that she is NOT a big fan of pre-school. She cries, pleads with me, and carries on and on and on. However, we are paying to do this...she is going. But not before she tries to kill me first. To say she is in a "rebellion stage" right now would be an understatement. She has decided that NO ONE is going to force her to enjoy pre-school. She demonstrated this in her pre-school pictures recently. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. First, come back with me, to the day BEFORE pre-school pictures......

Every child apparently does this once in their young lives. Berkeley had her turn two weeks before this and McKenna decided to try the same thing. She cut her own hair. I had put McKenna in her room for quiet time, and was resting on my bed waiting for some headache medicine to kick in. The next thing I know, Kenna is asking me if she can get a drink. I noticed quick that she'd cut it and, when I asked, she fessed up immediately. With pride she announced that she had only cut "a little". WRONG!

Here she is BEFORE she found the scissors.... (notice the bangs and longer hair length): ...and AFTER her little mis-deed....(no more bangs, length is long and short all over):Then some lady at "Great Clips" tried to fix it (that's supposed to be the "jagged bang look"):
It was frustrating...but at least we had a WAD of hair to show everyone who asked about her "pretty new haircut!". ANYWAYS.... Back to pre-school pictures.

We got to the studio and McKenna REFUSED to sit and smile for anyone. The photographer told us to just "walk and talk by the background" and he would casually snap a shot when she smiled. Well...Kenna was on to his evil plan. She stood there glaring the entire time. When Berkeley and I backed away from Kenna for a second.....this was the shot he got:

(Photo courtesy of Wayman Photography 2008)

Awwww....doesn't she look...just...so....pissed? My Little Diva.

Then today when we were talking about going to pre-school...she announces "I've had ENOUGH of my ABC's!". I thought I was going to die laughing. She proclaims to me "I DON'T want to do "W"...I already know that one...and I NOT going to go!" She lost this argument.

Halloween came fast and furious at our house.....Berkeley got her costume in July. McKenna got her costume in August. Kind of. McKenna REFUSED to wear her costume on the day of her pre-school party...and Berkeley wore her costume to her school party only. Then, Halloween morning, they come out of their room dressed in matching Cinderella dresses that we've owned for years. They announced that they were going to be "MATCHING CINDERELLAS!" (I'm quietly visualizing my money swirling down a flushing toilet...along with the purchased costumes....) Of course, I captured the cute moment:

Near Halloween we also carved pumpkins. I always forget what a pain it is to dig all the pumpkin guts out. Luckily - we painted most of ours. BUT....this year I waxed all "Martha Stewart" on myself...and tried not one, but two of her Halloween ideas. I must have had a fever or something. Anyhow...here is Martha's version of the lime green and copper glitter pumpkins: And here was mine (Take note: We made such a mess with the lime green pumpkin that there is NO copper glitter pumpkin. Maybe next year....NOT) :

As you can see....it is just NOT the same without a periwinkle wall in your house and black accents to boot. My bad.

BUT....hold onto your seats...because the other "Martha" idea turned out pretty cool. I was rather proud! Here is Martha's version of a green pumkin (called a Banana Squash?) with a spider carved in it:

And here is mine: Not too shabby~! I was quite proud. Very cool looking...and that's coming from an arachnaphobe! (No doubt, spelled wrong.)

Finally.....a short story about cleanliness:

We have always kept diaper wipes on the back of our toilet, so that we can all keep ourselves "fresh and clean" (Perschon Good Potty/Body Ettiquette Page 1). Therefore, it is not unheard of for me to grab diaper wipes when I'm in a hurry and use them to wipe something off the bathroom floor, toothpaste out of the sink, etc. We also use the Kirkland brand of Clorox Wipes to clean around the house.

When the girls were little and they wanted to help me clean...I would hand them a package of diaper wipes and let them wipe down the walls, their bikes, toys...whatever they wanted. I didn't like them to touch the Kirkland/Clorox wipes because of the chemicals on them. However, as Berkeley & McKenna get older, I will show them the "proper cleaning items" and model "how Mommy does things" for chore time.

That said....

Recently I was at the store and decided to purchase some feminine cleansing wipes. I thought it might be good to see if these worked suffieciently, since the diaper wipes can get expensive and you can't flush them. I went home, put these feminine wipes on the back of the toilet, and went on my "fresh and clean" way. (You can see what's going to happen, right?)

A few days later, when I was in the shower, the girls were helping to clean up the house before company came. I hollered to Berkeley to please get the Clorox wipes and clean off our kitchen table. I hadn't heard Berk come into the bathroom...but when I got out of the shower I noticed that the "feminine wipes" package was empty on the bathroom counter. Berkeley had apparently been feeling too lazy to track down the Kirkland/Clorox wipes....

And that, my friends, is how our kitchen table got cleaned with feminine cleansing wipes.

EQUATE FLUSHABLE FEMININE WIPES....

For when your kitchen table has that "not-so-fresh" feeling...

Any one want to come for dinner?