Tuesday, July 29, 2008

"I'll just wait here..."

So today was my yearly obgyn appointment. I loved the new lady who came in to go "where no woman has gone before" -- Seriously. I've always had male obgyns. But this time around, since I don't have medical insurance, I went to a women's clinic to pay less money.

Now, this is supposed to be a confidential clinic for teens too, if they need to come get birth control or pregnancy counseling. So when I finally went back for my appointment, I found it HILARIOUS that the beds were positioned so any patient, CNA, nurse practitioner, doctor, or small child could see you lying there if the door was opened & closed! Really? (Did I just see a lady from my ward go by?)

So with fascination...I counted...and the door was opened & closed for people coming or going about eight times while I was there. EIGHT TIMES! It got me thinking. If this is a confidential clinic...shouldn't the bed be repositioned so that you are NOT staring out of the door? Looking at the small size of the room...I realized that it was either your face or your "yee-ha" that was going to be saying "hello". (This is probably why they chose the face.)

BUT....I have to say...that after thinking about it more....I think a confidential clinic should probably opt for the "yee ha" exposure, rather than the patients face. For one...if people are looking in at your "yee ha", you are probably not going to know it. (But it might get breezey.) Second...and more importantly...., people are not going to identify you by your "yee ha" as nearly as easily, as your face. (Sidenote: *If you have an especially recognizable "yee-ha"...well, that's a whole other therapy session. Maybe four.)

The nurse practitioner and I discussed this theory of mine -- as she worked her mega-sized q-tip with as much ease (as is possible) with salad tongs up your....um, yah. She agreed that --if we are looking at it from the confidential standpoint -- "yee ha exposure" may be better in this case. We had a good laugh over it until the nurse and her "person observing" began scrambling over a missing instrument they needed. As they got up and started moving around...the helper said "I'll look down here." The nurse practitioner said "maybe it's up there."

As they searched for a minute...I calmly said "I'll just wait here."

I've earned some chocolate...wouldn't you say?