Sunday, January 25, 2009

Cinderella Poopy Pants...

Nothing makes me and Berkeley smile & laugh harder than when McKenna tells me that she wants some "CRAPtain Crunch" for breakfast. No matter how many times I say "CAPtain Crunch? Okay, lets go get you some" -- she still says it the same way the next time around. She does this unintentionally (as far as I can tell). The innocence in it is what makes it so completely funny. It's not gross, like my brother's "gross" humor growing up.

Randy and his friends could spend hours laughing over one, raunchy, fart. The word "buttercup" comes to mind...and it isn't a happy memory. (Shame on big brothers EVERYWHERE for ever doing this to your little sisters!) My eyes are watering now, as I try not to remember.

I wasn't raised a "prude" though, at our house growing up you had to belch at LEAST a seven to even call yourself a "family member." Mom won't admit it now, but she got in on a few contests...and she was the one who started "rating" them, if I remember correctly.

In college, I am embarrassed (now) to say that my GRAND "belching ability" was no secret among my roomies. One of my six roommates was dating a football player, who belched one night in our dorm room. I mentioned that it was a bit "weak"...and that's when the "challenge" began. HE WAS WARNED not to challenge me...but he didn't listen. While sparing you the details...I proudly put him to shame. It was cool to beat the six-foot-tall, "tough guy", but this talent has NOT won me a lot of dates or admiration from the boys over the years. It comes across as "un-lady-like" for some reason ???

So, that said, I have tried so hard NOT to instill in my daughters, the great art of "Fart and Poop Humor." I don't IS funny at times...but who is going to date the girls in college who can make fart sounds with their armpits? Am I wrong? Therefore, I go about my days trying to keep the little princesses

I am not succeeding in the least bit.
This was the conversation in the car last week:

(McKenna is singing a Cinderella song and adding the word "poop poop!" in after every stanza.)

Mom says:
"Kenna...There's no "POOP POOP" in the Cinderella story!"

Kenna argues:
"Yes DEHR iz! I read about Cinderella...She wived (lived) in a castle! And she pooped all day!"

(Berkeley and McKenna break into laughter in the back seat.)

Then Berkeley chimes in:
"YAH! And I read about Cinderella -- She left her shoe --the ONE shoe...And guess what the Prince saw in it? POOP!"

(More hysterical laughter in the back seat from them both.)

McKenna chimes in again:
"Cinderella...she had POOP on her blue wedding dress!!! Hahahahaha!"

(They keep laughing. I just shake my head, keep driving, and try not to smile or laugh too hard.)

Then later in that week....
The girls had gone down for bed, but were being restless and not going to sleep.

I holler to them from the livingroom:
"McKenna....You need to settle down! And Berkeley....I heard you talking too..."

The girls are silent...but I hear a "flatulent-like sound" from the bedroom.

McKenna (in some effort not to get in trouble again...and to try to protect Berkeley) yells:
"That was Berkeley's butt!"

(I think it is funny...but stay silent. The quiet resumes. Then I hear another "toot":)

McKenna yells:
"That was her butt again!"

Looks like somebodys butt is going to get a "time-out" if it doesn't pipe down soon!