Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Yeah, That's The ONE...

Shortcake:  "Mom...I just said the  (whispers) 'f word'."
Mom: "You did ??  Which 'f word' did you say?
Shortcake: She puts her hand up to her mouth, gets on her tip toes, and whispers in my ear..."Freakin".
Mom:  "Oooohhhh.....THAT 'f word' is probably all right to say. Just try not to say the one that rhymes with 'truck'. Okay?"
Shortcake:  (thinking to herself for a few seconds...) "FRUCK?"
Mom:  "Yep.  That's the one." 
Pardon my french, but she is so, (whisper) 'frucking', cute. ;)

Saturday, December 11, 2010

When They're Cute, They're Cute

I head towards the livingroom to watch a movie with the girls.

Berkeley says "DON'T COME IN HERE YET ! We're making you a SURPRISE! We only need about 20 more minutes! Do NOT be concerned!"

Now, I'm concerned.

I wait patiently for about twelve more minutes, and then get the "okay" to come in.  

McKenna, standing on a step stool at the end of the hallway, gave me a "ticket" to enter the livingroom.  Berkeley made the "announcements".

 We'd gone earlier to the Redbox and rented two movies. So they had made some movie night "preparations".  The livingroom was decorated with yarn (as make-shift "crepe paper streamers" ) and in the middle of the design hung a sign that said:

"Today Girly-Girl Theater presents......
"16 Wishes" and
"Beezus & Ramona"
Hope You Enjoy the Show!"

I had a blanket and spot to sit in, they had blankets and "special seating"as well.  There were other "movie guests" attending (stuffed animals and baby dolls). 

There were even refreshments.  In a bowl for each of us was one cookie, one baby candy cane, pretzels, popcorn, carmel popcorn, and blue-raspberry Frootie candies. (Note to self: Might be time to get some healthy snacks.)

I gotta say....when they're cute, they're cute. 

Monday, November 29, 2010

Fat Mom, Skinny Mom - A blog to follow!

My girlfriend, Callee, is starting her own blog for Moms.  It is going to be AWESOME!  Go check it out...and hurry...because she is doing a GIVE-AWAY!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Let it be said, let it be type-written....

I may go back later and change the girl's names to their code names in all previous blog posts, but from here on out, my little ladies will be refered to as:

Oldest - "Strawberry" (She was allergic to these when she was little and couldn't eat anything with them.  She's grown out of them now and loves them!)

Youngest - "Shortcake" (She's short.  She never eats cake, only the frosting.  But "Short Frosting" didn't have quite the ring to it.)

Thanks for your understanding, as I work to make this blog a little more "less public", without going private.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Im a Woman, Im allowed.... change my mind.  :)

I didn't realize that making my blog private, would also make it so that I can only have 100 people read it.  I have a larger reading base than I am staying public.  However - I will be changing the children's names to code names. 

I hope that you will join me for the next entry...coming soon!

Sunday, August 8, 2010

I don't want to...but....

My ex has asked me to go private.  So...if you want to continue following the blog -- then please send me your email address.  If you are a must identify yourself and give me a way to see that you are your blog...or who you know through I can verify it.  I will leave this notice up for two weeks and then take the big leap.  :(    I may just have a public blog that doesn't identify me totally....and then post family stuff privately.  We'll see.  Until then....I hope to hear from you!

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Uncle Crazy Pants...

THIS is what happens....
when Uncle Randy comes to visit. 

IF you're lucky....
He will allow you to give him a free pedi when all the TORTURE is through.

This makes for a pretty, cool, Uncle.

Monday, June 28, 2010

That Depends....Does He Wear DEPENDS?

You have to be very, very specific in the "qualities" you want in a man! 
Just tonight, my girlfriend was laughing at me about something I said in regards to dating. 
She had asked if I had any new "love" interests. 
I was telling her about his really "promising" guy I had been texting and talking to on the phone.  
It hadn't really, "panned out" though, and I was disappointed. 
She just thought it was funny when I whined at the end of the whole discussion:

"But, but, this one was EMPLOYED!!"

Yes, my friends, the pickin's are THAT slim. 

You can understand, then...
why I found this comic to be so, completely hilarious:

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Dear Single Men....

You never know what lies...just below the surface.

Dear Single Men,

Take a chance on the girl with the acne...she can't help that she has it.  And, if you hit on her while she has a big zit on her'll get bonus points for seeing past THAT and into her eyes.  Acne goes...those eyes are forever.

Take a chance on the girl with the extra weight...she's working on it.  Besides, she may be an excellent cook.  And...The girls who aren't given a chance (because of their weight) have often spent their time working on other ways to be beautiful to you.

Take a chance on the single Mom.  She's a tough cookie.  She'll give you 110% and do it well.

Take a chance on the girl with the wrinkles...she's earned them and she may be full of wisdom and experience.

Take a chance on the girl who dresses less fashionably.  She lives within her means, even if it means she can't dress like everyone else. If her clothes are old and full of holes...perhaps she puts the needs of her kids before her own.  She wishes more than anything that she could dress better...but she can't right now.  When it's time for her to dress up for out!

Take a chance on the girl with dry, cracked hands.  She works hard, plays hard, cleans well, and is softer than you ever knew - on the inside. 

Take a chance on the girl who is always late.  She may be bad with time, but excellent with love.  She may have been late because she was talking to a friend in need, or taking extra time on her make-up to look good for YOU. 

Take time on the shy girl.  For once you get-to-know her you might realize that someone amazing lies within.  And once she 'opens up' will be like opening a present.

Take a chance on the girl who seems unorganized.  She won't be able to find her keys...but she'll always know where the key to your heart is. 

Take a chance on the girl with the messy car.  You may like your car clean, but she's amazing with all that she can accomplish in a day.  She can make it to ten or fifteen places in a day and, quite frankly, she doesn't have time for loose french fries.  She'll get to them later. (Refer back to "girl with cracked, dry hands" and remember "she cleans well"). 

Take a chance on the girl with the chaotic household.  She really plays with her children, she talks to them, and she may even take time to herself to read books on "How to be a Better Lover".  She knows what's important in life. And the dishes will wait until after your hot, romantic interlude that night. 

And finally....

Take a chance on the girl with the stretch marks at the swimming pool.  I have no good reason for this...except that girls with stretch marks need love too.  And, I eventually need to find a mate.  So, just give her a chance, would ya???  


The Girl Next Door

Monday, April 26, 2010

Egg-cellent Memories

We were so excited...

My Mom was able to get the Easter Bunny to come and see us at her house on Easter Day! The kids, of course, were not aware this was going to happen. So, as the moment approached, the adults grew excited to see their reactions.

I knew one thing for sure. McKenna was NOT going to love it. She hates, HATES anything in a costume. It all started with Mr. McGruff coming to the school a few years back. It hasn't gotten much better. I keep telling her that these "creatures" are just "Daddys in a costume". But she's not having it. Especially that evil and gray beast -CHUCK E. CHEESE. Who does he think he is scaring the crap out of kids day after day? It's so rude!

We had one moment where I thought McKenna might be cured of her "costume" issues.  She went with her Dad in May of 2008 to Disneyland.  She did "okay" with the costumed characters around her, I hear.  And, to my surprise, she totally enjoyed the "Princesses".  But that's only because Princesses are REAL, silly! They're not in a costume! :)

Anyhow....( Have I ever mentioned I have adult onset ADD?)....back to the topic at hand. The Easter Bunny's Entrance...

The eggs had been hidden....

And the eggs had been found....

We were all wondering who would be the random victim of Uncle Randy's sick and twisted sense of humor this year.  Berkeley was the winner!  She sat on the back steps of the deck and innocently began opening her eggs while she waited for us to go inside.  This is what was in one of her eggs:

Here was her face as she read it:
It was so funny.  She said outloud "I got a BAD egg! UH!"
We couldn't stop laughing.

So I think I was telling you about when the Easter Bunny was getting ready to arrive...right?

All the girls were back in the livingroom, enjoying the discovery of what was hidden inside of their colorful, collection of eggs.   Before long....this was what appeared in the window:

McKenna ran to the front door...slammed it shut...blocked it with her body...
and yelled (as she started to hysterically cry/panic)

My twelve-year-old niece yelled:
(Apparently- anyone peeking in a window qualifies as an instant child predator or freak,
even if you're in a bunny costume.  Perhaps, ESPECIALLY if you are in a bunny costume?
Can't say I blame today's world, you gotta be careful. lol) 

It was pure pandamonium until we got McKenna calmed down.  Such a fun, exciting,  moment and it's so horrifying to her.  I felt so bad.  The Bunny came in and delivered some surprises for each of the girls.  McKenna even calmed down (watching from afar) and accepted a gift from him.  She kept her distance until he quietly left...
and Easter slowly came to an end. 

Pretty soon, they'll be too grown up for this kind of fun. 
But for was truly a great day.

One last picture and then I'll leave you alone....

Oh, come on, you know you wanted it!   
We hope you had a very Happy Easter, Everyone! 

Sunday, April 25, 2010


I got this new deodorant today.

The instructions said remove cap and push up bottom.

I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells awesome.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Nine, So Fine, Sublime....

Berkeley turned nine at the end of March.  There's already an attitude and spunk in her that I SWEAR wasn't supposed to come out until she was a tween!  But she is still proudly, my "girly girl".  She loves a good, fancy, party - where people need to dress up and play "princess-style".  This year Berkeley picked a "Tea Party" for her and her friends to celebrate with. 

Big Girl Table...Tea Party in Progress

   The little sister's had their own Tea Party
      off to the side...
The Food...
Sporting their fancy Tea Party jewelry.... (Ring Pops)

The flowers, the sparkling punch, and the Birthday Girl....

Opening presents...
Who wouldn't be happy about CASH!?

Later, after the all the refinement a Tea Party can bring....
We broke out the face paints, the music, and the balloons
and let the girls loose in the gym.
Mom was exhausted afterwards, but Berkeley said it was "perfect", better than she had imagined.  Which, of course, makes it all worth it.


Instead of "going out" to dinner this year with family, I offered to make Berkeley's favorite food instead - BBQ Steak!  She, of course, was happy to party at home under those circumstances:  

Opening some presents...

The"Tea Party" themed cake...made by our Shirlene.  She never disappoints us with her talent.  And, her talent tastes SO GOOD!

Little Kenna was off to the side, enjoying the festivities too!

The Birthday "Princess"

Here are NINE things that I love about you:
1. Your Laugh
2. Your Tender Heart
3. Your Creativity
4. Your Free Spirit
5. Your Independence
6. The cute, new freckles on your nose.
7. Your Mischieviousness
8. You're a good student
9. You always make us laugh.

I just can't believe my "baby" is getting so old.
I love you, Berk!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Happy Earth Day...HAPPY Earth Worms!

We woke up as usual today.  A little late from pushing "snooze" too much, and rushing a bit.  It had rained last night so I expected the usual handful of worm carcasses - here and there - on the long sidewalk as we hurried to the car.  Much to my surprise though, we were greeted by this view outside our door: 
There were many more as we walked.  It was crazy!  They were a lot more long, plump, and "fresh" in the morning, than when I took this picture in the afternoon.  Im sure it was funny from afar, to watch the girls and I trying not to step on any of them!
Look a little closer....
Yep...the Earth Worms had a party last night.  Invited ALL their slimey friends.  It appears it was a rockin' party too.  I suppose they call it "EARTH DAY EVE" in the Underground. 

I couldn't help but laugh as it appeared they were all laying there, hung over. 

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Life is Crashing into my Tower One...

(This picture is so beautiful to me. It's as if the baby might be looking and listening to
"instructions" from God before coming to Earth.)
With my six-month-old baby in my arms, I remember the exact moment my cousin Jenny called me, early on Sept. 11th, 2001.  We watched together -shocked- as news of an airplane crashing into Tower 1 of the World Trade Center was being reported.  We watched -horrified- as another plane flew straight into Tower 2.  Our country was under a "Terrorist Attack".  I was breast feeding Berkeley on the couch, almost disbelieving, as people were dying because of a man's drastic display of their belief in God.  My sweet baby didn't understand how defining that moment was in our lives, she would only grow up to read about it.  But, I still found comfort in talking to her about how she should always treat others with kindness, even if they believed differently than her.  I sang to her about patriotism, pride for self and country, appreciation for freedom, and more.  Sounds silly, but I did.  Somehow, talking to Berkeley comforted me, as I ached for those who died because of someone elses imposed beliefs.  I sat on the porch with her, and lit a candle, on the day our country would mourn together for a moment.  She'll remember nothing from all of this effort on my part....but I hoped that I would.   I hoped that I could help her grow up to not act in "terroristic" ways towards those different from herself.

FLASH FORWARD a few years:
When Berkeley was around 3 1/2  or 4, she was obsessed with "Buddah" statues in the stores.  Whenever we would see one, she wanted to look at it, touch it, and take it home.  Did she just like the happy, chubby, man with his bellybutton showing? Or was this the budding of her own religious inclinations?  I never did get her a statue, maybe I should have.  At Halloween that year, she decided that she actually wanted to dress up as "Buddah."  I remember trying to explain to her that people who believe in Buddah, treat his image special....just like we hold "Jesus" special in our lives.  I tried to tell her that they don't make Buddah costumes and that it might offend some people if we made one.  She didn't understand.  Berkeley still insisted that we find or make her a Buddah costume.  I didn't do that either.  

FLASH FORWARD several more years:
I was looking through some notes of mine recently, and came across something Berkeley (7 at the time) said to me one day after church. I was driving home and she was in the back seat explaining that her primary teacher had told her class a story of a man, who would rather die than deny God.

She followed it up with: "I'm not sure about that one."
I asked, inquisitively: "Why not?"
To which she replied: "Because I don't want to die!"

It made me giggle. You can't blame her!  She had reached - for herself - the first of many moments-to-come in life, where she would question why someone would do something drastic in defense of God. I explained to her, the best I could, why the man would have rather died, than deny the God that he believed in. But I'm not sure she could get passed that whole "you're still gonna have to die" part-of-the-story.

Berkeley is growing up.  She will be nine soon, and I have another daughter, McKenna, who is five.  The world is slowly revealing itself to them, a day at a time.  Berkeley doesn't remember Sept. 11th or her "Buddah" phase.  But both my daughters have an entirely DIFFERENT childhood than I did.  They can research answers to their life questions via not just libraries, tv, and teachers.....but also through the World Wide Web.  As a parent...I know my job is to help them process the many different things they hear/read.  I will do the very best I can.  However, I don't think that I ever realized that at age 35, I could be unsure about where I stood religiously.  It's been about nine months since I last spoke of my "religious woes" via blogging...but I wanted to talk about it again. 

You see, questioning everything you've ever stood for is scary enough on an individual basis.  It's turned my world upside down. I often find myself drained and exhausted from trying to "figure it all out". I have lived for three decades as a devout Mormon. What do I do as I question all that I have ever believed, without confusing my children?  What if I choose to leave the LDS Church...and then decide later to come back? What if I leave and never come back?  With Berkeley and McKenna's Father and Step-Mother coming from a "Mormon"-based belief system, how do I vere from that -respectfully- and not create a "two-sided" world for the girls?  This is the source of much "inner terroristic turmoil" for me. 

I grew up in a home where my mother was very spiritual, but not religious.  My distant father grew up LDS and then converted to Born Again Christianism when I was 11.  He spent years on a "terroristic" mission of his own, trying to "save" all us "sinners".  My brother began in the LDS Church, converted to Born-Again Christianism, and now lies in between being agnostic and an atheist.  Thus, I began at a very young age, having to decide for myself where I stood.  Believing differently and forming my own opinions is no new territory for me.  But it was no easy road.  

My heart tells me that the simple answer for my girls is this:

Teach them what you know for sure...raise them to be good them how to reach into their own souls for what feels them in any way you can....and then let them form their own beliefs as they grow. 

As wisdom-filled as that's not uncomplicated.  I just pray that GOD will help me.  I pray that I can make Him proud of the way I handle things.  God has entrusted these two, precious spirits to my care.  I want Berkeley and McKenna to believe in angels, miracles, and to know that they are not alone.  I want them to lead happy, fullfilling lives, while respectfully allowing others to live and believe as they wish.  I have to understand though, that they could choose to lie on the side of "there is no God" or on "Team Buddah".  So, while they are making up their minds, I must practice what I preach.

Friday, February 19, 2010

What's Love Got To Do With It?

( I love this pic bec of her face, obv not bec of my hair!)
McKenna:  (Reaching over and kissing me on the cheek...)
"Can I have a Slurpee, now?" .
Me: "Oh, you want a slurpee, huh?"
McKenna:  "Yes!"
Me: (I kiss McKenna on the nose) "Nope!".
McKenna: "Hey!"
Me: "What?  You only give kisses now, when you want something??"
McKenna:  "Yes."

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Good Morning, Sunshine!

We had to get up a little earlier today, because it is snowing and we are going to have to give ourselves an extra 10-15 minutes of travel time.  Berkeley, my eight-year-old, hates waking up.  She's a lot like her mother.  It usually takes me about a half-an-hour of begging to get her to rise and exit the top bunk. 

Anyhow...this morning wasn't a good morning for us.  She was dishing out the attitude from the moment she first spoke.  It all came to a -head- when we had an argument over "why she hates headbands" vs. "please stop going to school with hair that makes you look homeless." 

She won't keep the hair bows or the barretts in at school.  She hates to have braids and ponytails unless she's "in the mood" for them, which is next-to-never.  So she has this tangled, messy, long hair. Grrr....  All I ask is that SOMETIMES she actually put a headband in when the hair isn't looking it's greatest!  It's one of those "small things" that I let "get to me" sometimes. 

Anyhow...the point is...that she didn't start off the day in the best mood.  We were arguing all the way to the freaking car and partly on the drive to school.  Finally...we both just fell silent and began letting the radio make the noise.

(Here's a picture of us...and the mood we woke up in....)

It's snowing still, but lightly.  Roads are wet and the windshield wipers are trying to ward off the 'gunk' that the high speeds of the freeway spews onto our windshield.  It's cold.  But we're almost there.

I am silently chastising myself for not handling our argument better, while wondering if all eight-year-old girls are this fiesty and independent.  I hate starting off mornings badly.  I just want her to start her day off happy.  I just want to start my day off happy!

Right in the middle of my mental turmoil though, I hear her mutter something outloud, that was so funny, it just made me re-vamp my attitude for the whole day.  She was staring out the window at the cold, the snow, and the muck and just muttered...

"Damn Groundhog."

I love that kid.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

What's in a Name?

Berkeley is doing this super cute project in her third grade class.  They have to go through magazines, cut out adults, kids, pets, etc.  Then they assemble the pictures into families, glue them on paper, and write a story about that family that they've created. 

We were in the car talking about this assignment the other day, when Berkeley was trying to name her family.  She said "I'll just say 'The 'Smith' Family."  I protested.  No, Berk, there are so MANY "Smith" families out there.  Let's try to be creative."  I started giving suggestions...some serious, some silly...

"The 'Gabriella' Family?" She liked the High School Musical parallell, so I kept going...
"The 'Sharpay' Family?"  She and McKenna giggled.  
"The 'Montana's'?"  They loved that.  Hannah Montana -rocks it- at our house.

McKenna chimed in:
"The 'Shannon' Family?!" - She suggested, in honor of Aunt Shannon. She continued...
"The 'Popcorn' Family?!"  "The 'Slurpee' Family?!" "The 'Cheddar' Family?!" "The 'Beef' Family?!"

Berk shared her ideas:
"The 'Rainbow' Family?! Her and McKenna giggled.
"The 'Coke' Family?!" "The 'Dr. Pepper' Family?!" "The 'Make-Up' Family?!" "The 'Bolton' Family?!" (Another HSM parallell) "The 'Earring' Family!?"

I told them some of the "different" or "memorable" last names of friend's that I've had:
In Junior High, I SWORE I would marry Jared "Walkenhorst"...just because I wanted to be "Mrs. Walkenhorst."  In High School, I had a friend with the last name "Belcher".  Ironically, she had the best manners out of all of us.  And, most recently, one of my best friend's is currently "Mrs. Gum."  Which, I love more than words can say. 

Anyhow.....we were having lots of fun suggesting ideas to one another.  I loved hearing the MANY things they thought of.  When, all of the sudden, McKenna shouts out from the back seat:

"I KNOW!!!  How about "The 'NIPPLE' Family ?!!!?!!!" 

Berkeley and I are laughing so hard we almost wet ourselves. 
Clearly it's time to end the "brainstorming" session.
And, while  I hope, that Mr. and Mrs. Nipple live happily ever after...
I pray daily that their children "Chapped", "Pierced", and "Enlarged"
make it through school without incident.

Friday, January 22, 2010


Well, Hello There!  It seems I've taken an unintentional vacation from blogging.  I am determined to catch up and continue forward.  So let's get to it....

Christmas comes and goes more quickly each year.  What is that all about?  Didn't it seem to go in slow-motion when you were a kid?  I feel like my kids are missing out on authentic Christmas traditions, experiences, and moments. I tried hard to simplify this year. I tried to not get caught up in any big projects, any over-scheduling, any over-spending.  It STILL passed quickly.  But...Im still glad that I did simplify. 

We kept our tradition of building gingerbread houses at Grandma Ladybugs.  This year though, we thought we would try doing a "mini-village".  It was a cute idea at the time, but I think we decided in the end that most of them just looked like fancy outhouses.  Here's a few pics of our 3-4 inch creations:

(NOTE TO SELF:  Make less sprinkles available next year...)

I played the Christmas music and made the Christmas treats.  Before we knew it....Christmas morning had arrived.  Now....because of the girls ongoing, questionable "behavior issues" in dealing with each other this past year, my girls  found the following note from Santa near their presents:








So, included in their gifts to share were one "Twist N' Ride" bike, 2 DVDs, 2 CD's, 2 of the same Barbie, and some Nail Polish.   Here were some pictures from their "loot reveal":

I love how both their mouths are open on this one!

Happy to get a "Taylor Swift" CD!

Berkeley added a Daddy and a Baby to her "Fur-Real" Bamboo Family.

And McKenna got a "Fur-Real" Cat and New Giraffe.

One of my favorite moments of Christmas Morning was when McKenna opened her present from Berkeley.  They both got excited and told each other what their gifts were two days prior.  But when Kenna saw it she just reached over and hugged Berkeley. It was so genuine and so sweet. 
Anyhow, it never ceases to amaze me that Christmas morning starts out all nice and orderly like this:

And ends up like this:

But it's a true sign of "JOY"...right?

There were so many blessings this Christmas.  I worried about providing enough for the girls, but there were angels surrounding me and helping me to make the "season bright".  I cannot speak of the PEACE that filled my heart as these blessings appeared at just the right moments too.  It fills my soul with gratitude and happiness.  I cannot wait and I hope that -one day-
I am able to give back more than we have been blessed with.

And a little shout-out to Santa...
The girls are getting along better all ready!  I think your magic is working...if even a little...IT'S PROGRESS!