Sunday, January 25, 2009

Cinderella Poopy Pants...

Nothing makes me and Berkeley smile & laugh harder than when McKenna tells me that she wants some "CRAPtain Crunch" for breakfast. No matter how many times I say "CAPtain Crunch? Okay, lets go get you some" -- she still says it the same way the next time around. She does this unintentionally (as far as I can tell). The innocence in it is what makes it so completely funny. It's not gross, like my brother's "gross" humor growing up.

Randy and his friends could spend hours laughing over one, raunchy, fart. The word "buttercup" comes to mind...and it isn't a happy memory. (Shame on big brothers EVERYWHERE for ever doing this to your little sisters!) My eyes are watering now, as I try not to remember.

I wasn't raised a "prude" though, at our house growing up you had to belch at LEAST a seven to even call yourself a "family member." Mom won't admit it now, but she got in on a few contests...and she was the one who started "rating" them, if I remember correctly.

In college, I am embarrassed (now) to say that my GRAND "belching ability" was no secret among my roomies. One of my six roommates was dating a football player, who belched one night in our dorm room. I mentioned that it was a bit "weak"...and that's when the "challenge" began. HE WAS WARNED not to challenge me...but he didn't listen. While sparing you the details...I proudly put him to shame. It was cool to beat the six-foot-tall, "tough guy", but this talent has NOT won me a lot of dates or admiration from the boys over the years. It comes across as "un-lady-like" for some reason ???

So, that said, I have tried so hard NOT to instill in my daughters, the great art of "Fart and Poop Humor." I don't IS funny at times...but who is going to date the girls in college who can make fart sounds with their armpits? Am I wrong? Therefore, I go about my days trying to keep the little princesses

I am not succeeding in the least bit.
This was the conversation in the car last week:

(McKenna is singing a Cinderella song and adding the word "poop poop!" in after every stanza.)

Mom says:
"Kenna...There's no "POOP POOP" in the Cinderella story!"

Kenna argues:
"Yes DEHR iz! I read about Cinderella...She wived (lived) in a castle! And she pooped all day!"

(Berkeley and McKenna break into laughter in the back seat.)

Then Berkeley chimes in:
"YAH! And I read about Cinderella -- She left her shoe --the ONE shoe...And guess what the Prince saw in it? POOP!"

(More hysterical laughter in the back seat from them both.)

McKenna chimes in again:
"Cinderella...she had POOP on her blue wedding dress!!! Hahahahaha!"

(They keep laughing. I just shake my head, keep driving, and try not to smile or laugh too hard.)

Then later in that week....
The girls had gone down for bed, but were being restless and not going to sleep.

I holler to them from the livingroom:
"McKenna....You need to settle down! And Berkeley....I heard you talking too..."

The girls are silent...but I hear a "flatulent-like sound" from the bedroom.

McKenna (in some effort not to get in trouble again...and to try to protect Berkeley) yells:
"That was Berkeley's butt!"

(I think it is funny...but stay silent. The quiet resumes. Then I hear another "toot":)

McKenna yells:
"That was her butt again!"

Looks like somebodys butt is going to get a "time-out" if it doesn't pipe down soon!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

First, Second, Third, Fourths, FIFTHS?

Ever heard of it? Fifth's Virus. It's a skin rash...Berkeley's was on her face. It started Friday and just looked like a few little pimples coming up on the skin. Then, throughout the weekend it spread a bit. Berkeley's cheeks would go really red and blotchy. It would come, go away, come again, go away. Lotion didn't help. Allergy medicine didn't help. Weird, right? Well, after going to the doctor, it turns out she has a skin virus called FIFTH's. It doesn't hurt, burn, itch...nothing. And there's no treatment. You just "wait it out." However, you CAN'T be near pregnant women if you have this virus. It's very dangerous for them...or their babies....and I'm not sure why. I guess you usually get a fever right before the rashes come (we didn't notice this in Berk) and that is when you are contagious. Unfortunately...we were around my pregnant neighbor AND my pregnant friend on Friday. But...just in case we saw YOU on Thursday or Friday...and you are hiding a secret pregnancy ...this is your ALERT to call your OB. Tell them you were exposed.

I'm posting the pictures just as an FYI. You can watch for when your kids get it. It isn't "severe" looking...just rashy.

Anyhow...Christmas was quick and chaotic. I hope to mail out our "Pre-Valentine, Happy Late Christmas and New Years" packages this week. Sorry to those we have failed miserably....we try hard! I just did a lot of photo cd's this year and all the editing takes FOREVER. I love it...but it's time consuming. Here's a review of what our Christmas entailed:

Gingerbread houses.... Always a fun tradition.
I love how you can take this:
And turn it into THIS:

Traditions Continued...We also had a great time this year painting our own wooden ornaments. We did this when I was a child...and although I don't remember painting the was always so fun to see what I had painted and hang it on the tree each year. Here are ours:

McKenna's are all the orange ones...a Christmas color delight for many in the world! (Not.) But hey, she had fun! I had fun too. Berkeley took her time and did her best work. They were excited to hang them on the tree once they had dried.

We did make it to the Zoo Lights this year but not until after Christmas. You would think at this point in this paragraph...I would talk about how cool it much smaller the crowds were after Christmas....or something of the sort. Not so.

People...we are going to talk about hot chocolate.

Lucky for us, going after Christmas meant we got hot chocolate mugs at half price...$4.00 ! WHAT THE HE**!? $4.00 for hot chocolate in a light-up mug? That is insane. And did I mention that was HALF PRICE !?!?! Who pays $8.00 for freaking hot chocolate in a light-up mug??? And, whomever you are, STOP DOING THAT! Shame on you, crazy people. YOU are the reason Hogle Zoo thinks that they can charge this amount!! For that may just be cheaper to treat frostbite. (You don't need all of your fingers anyhow. You have ten of them.) For EIGHT DOLLARS - that mug better wash itself and put itself away. IT WASN'T EVEN DISHWASHER SAFE!

Truly, what is the zoo thinking? It's a mug and it's filled with hot chocolate. EIGHT DOLLARS??? How do people with more than two children afford it? It's a good thing I was able to look past the SICK prices and enjoy the scenery...right? Can't let a little posh hot chocolate ruin the Spirit of the holidays!?

Since we are on the "Spirit" of the season though, our little family did have a GIANT surprise blessing this year. It's hard for me to talk about it, because it still touches my heart so much. But we had a couple "secret" angels of Santa (and Heavenly Father) donate a load of extra presents to the girls for Christmas morning. This came after these two "angels" already had spoiled them openly with gifts. It truly made the girl's Christmas morning, to wake up expecting only three presents each...and seeing such a "plentiful" display. It was overwhelming to me and our cup truly "runneth over". Thank you to them again, you know who you are. You'll never know just how much it meant.

It's always so funny to me how neatly wrapped gifts start like this:

And end up leaving a room looking like this:

It's the MERRY part of Christmas, I suppose!

Jenny Miller, you wished us a very "pink" Christmas.....and I thought I would take a picture of the livingroom Christmas morning...just to show you how accurate you didn't know you were (lol):

Two little girls = A LOT of pink! It's so much fun. It' won't last long.

I get so intimidated as each year as the costs to raise children get bigger and the budget stays the same. But there have been many this year who have helped us out and done little (and BIG) things to help us function comfortably. Obviously my Mom and "Grandpa Russ" are two of those people. They've gone beyond the normal to help us out...and we can't say "thank you" quickly enough...before help is on its way again. This goes the same for Shannon, John, Grandma Debbie, Wolfy, and so many others. I used to be great at getting "thank you" cards out...but not-so-much lately. If I missed saying "thank you" to you...."thanks so much."

Finally, I wanted to mention my absolute gratitude, for the ability to witness yesterday's Presidential Inauguration. I'm so proud of the progress we have made as human beings. I am so grateful my children will be able to live in a world where positive change occurred. It's cheesey...but I stood in my livingroom, made Berkeley hold my hand and watch too, and teared up as Barack Obama took his oath of office. I told Berkeley and McKenna that, one day, they would want to remember where she was in that moment. At four, Kenna most likely won't remember. But at seven-years-old, there's a good chance Berkeley will. I hope so.