Friday, November 6, 2009

We Specialize in Imperfection...

A person I know posted a blog like this once, and I'm copying her. I don't worry about 'stealing her idea', because:   1- It was an awesome idea.  2- She "de-friended" me on Facebook for some unknown reason...and so I don't worry about offending people like that !  And 3- If she doesn't like me stealing the idea...she'll have to actually "re-friend" me to complain about it - or comment on this blog post and admit she still reads it.

So, on that note...

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has finished reading a friend's or a stranger's blog and logged off, thinking:

"Wow, I wish I could be a cool Mom and do stuff like that."
"She always has it SO together.  I wish I did."
"Their marriage sounds sooooo perfect.  Why can't ours be soooo romantic too?"

I'm sure there are many, different, self-depriciating judgements that we place on ourselves...depending on the blog and depending on our current state of being. 

But the fact is...on a's easy to make life look perfect.  I'm more than sure that my friend's are aware of how imperfect I am....but for the one's who I still have fooled, I will confess:

1.  Berkeley was late to school seven times last quarter.  (Although, I'd like to point out that she was "on-time" - 31 times!)
2.  It's unusual if my bedroom is EVER clean.  It is the "catch-all" of the house...and I only get to it once in awhile.  It's embarassing, yes, but it's our reality until we have a basement or "extra room" to hide the "extras" in. 
3.  My car is only clean like 30% of the time.  And, if we are being totally honest, we did grow mold in one of the food trays once.  Im not proud of this fact, nor did I have any idea the food was there -- but it happened.  The food tray is in the trash now, but "ew." 
4.  After Mrs. J told us Wednesday night, that Berkeley needed to have her homework in on-time more often- We left for school Thursday morning without the *&^! homework.  I had to drive it back to the school later
5.  Sometimes, we have cereal for dinner.
6.  Sometimes, we have cookies for breakfast.
7.  I told my kids "no" when they wanted to go play out in the first snowfall this year.  I didn't have any warm coats for us yet (just jackets), no boots, and I didn't want us to get all "wet and cold".  What Mom denies their kids the first snowfall?  Isn't it supposed to be "wet and cold"?   
8.  Sometimes, often, I stay up late on Facebook - when I could be doing housework.  Facebook takes less energy, and the laundry will wait for me.  
9.  I don't always remember to clean my kids ears with q-tips after every tub and shower. 
10.  While there are many Mom's on the playground early, that are dressed, showered, and have make-up on - I'm not one of them.  I'm the Mom with the pj's on and mascara under her eyes. 

Truth be told, perfection is frightening to me.  I don't want to be perfect...because then people continually expect perfection.  How exhausting is that?  We specialize in imperfection in this house and, quite frankly, we're okay with that.  Would I like to be the "cute Mom" on the playground?  Yes.  Would I like to have a clean bedroom?  Yes.  Would I like to get all the laundry done?  Not really.  I hate the laundry.  But, I would like a tidy, neat home. 

Sometimes we get those things.  Sometimes we don't. 

What I feel is important, is that my kids know to keep trying.  Every day we can work to be a little better than the day before.  That's all.  And we can work hard to see the "little things" in life that bring us true joy.   

If all else fails, we can at least find the humor in our short comings.  There is a sign at my house, that reads:

"You can touch the dust, but please don't write in it."
I've seen others that read:
"Our house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it!"
"Please excuse the mess, the children are making happy memories."
"Martha doesn't live here."
And one of my personal favorites...

In the words of Michael McLean "Life can be hard.  But we, need not be, so hard on ourselves...We must be more gentle with ourselves."
I gotta go clean the car.