I'll show you mine, IF you show me yours.

The girl's father got married this summer. Their new step-mother's name is Dawnelle. She is very nice and sweet to my girls, and I appreciate her for that. Many times throughout courtship and engagement, Dawnelle has been selfless enough to watch the girls, feed the girls, bathe the girls, and even plan fun activities with the girls. It takes a special person to do this, and we are blessed to have her. However, I think we may need to ask a wee bit more of her in the near future...

You see, Berkeley came home with an interesting thought last night about Dawnelle, that I hadn't thought of before. (And I have thought deeply about potential questions that may come up...so I am ready!) But when Berk shot this one out...and I did not have a pre-rehearsed or even NATURAL response for her right away.

We were eating dinner and randomly she says to me: "Mom, this isn't fair. Why does Dawnelle get to see our naked bodies, but we don't get to see hers?"

I must say, her point seemed quite valid. My first reaction was to possibly say "Well, because you are a child and she is an adult." But that isn't the right answer. That would teach her that if an adult wants to see her naked...she has to do so. So, then I thought, "Well, because she helps to take care of you when Daddy and Mommy aren't there." But...that would mean that ANYONE that is taking care of them (their friend's parents at a sleepover, for example) could see them naked too. That isn't okay with me either.

I mean, the girls ARE sharing something very private with her....why wouldn't she trust them with her body parts too? ( I giggle to myself.) Eventually I fumbled something out about how it doesn't seem fair, but that Dawnelle can be private if she wishes. And, I reassured Berkeley and McKenna that Dawnelle is trying to help them and she is someone who can be trusted...along with Daddy, Mommy, and Grandmas.

Deep down though, my twisted head was thinking...."Yah, Dawnelle! Fair is fair! Show the girls your TA-TA's!"

This one is going to come back and haunt me if I eventually marry a man with little girls of his own...isn't it? (LOL) Have a good day and I love you all!

An atheist and a ho meet at the library...

No, I won't explain the title to you...it's a gift for someone special.

I just wanted to ramble today about my frustrations with being single again and dating. I've discovered a lot about myself in the two years that I've been single -- and it may take a miracle to find a man "qualified" that will marry me. My requirements don't seem weird to me....but then sometimes I wonder if I expect too much ? Let's post these frustrations and requirements publically for you "marrieds" to look at...and silently 'revel' in the fact that you are NOT in my similar position....

1. I've discovered that I am a bit high maintenence. Not in the DEMANDING way...at least....I don't think in that way. I just expect the people who want to date me (steadily) - to actually want to spend TIME with me -- other than texting, IM-ing, or on email. I can't just see "him" once a week.....anyone can be on their best behavior once a week! We need to be around one another when we are ornery, sick, annoying, silly, happy, sad, talking to ourselves....ALL of that.

2. Honestly....this has nothing to do with money....but I am so sick of meeting men who don't have a steady income/job...but want a steady woman/family! Especially now that I have kids...I need to know my man is going to be able to support us. I'll help/work too, I don't mind helping at all. In fact...I WANT to be a part of it all. But long bouts of unemployment, iffy jobs that may/may not "take off", or little part time jobs (--where you are unhappy but not looking to improve your life --) makes you a red flag for instability later on. That is scary to a woman! Men who are in school are in a different situation and I get that - but women can also see a man's goals to move forward - and she can put faith in the 'end goal' too. Again, this has nothing to do with having money. I would rather be poor with my best friend, than lonely with a loveless marriage.

3. Third, and this might still be under the "high maintenence category...", but I have learned that I need a patient man who can listen to me ramble. This may come as a total SHOCK to you all...but I talk a lot. It's something that just developed in me recently (like at birth) and it's part of who I am. But I've learned that I need "my man" to know that I just need to talk it out....then I'm better. He doesn't need to fix it for me, he just needs to actually listen and talk about it with me. He already knows I'm smart enough to know the right answers and he only makes suggestions when I ask for them...or when the moon isn't full. However, this man also knows how to "shut me up" in a way where I won't argue back too! ;-) Are there still men this patient out there?

4. Next...A guy needs to somehow, by an act of God, think that I am somewhat "cute" with my ponytail hair. That is my favorite way to put my hair when I am at home. It isn't the most attractive look for me (it may be my worst) but HE has to somehow find "sexy" mixed up in all that. Is this possible? I am not sure.

5. The men I date must be not living with their mother (without good reason). You can love your Momma. You can adore your Momma. But no Momma's Boys.

6. The man I date needs to be funny. He cannot just THINK he is funny....but actually BE funny. I need laughter in my life! I want to make him laugh outloud (and not because of the ponytail hair)...and I want him to be able to catch me off guard with his remarks! I don't want "fart humor" (but most men come with that built in) -- I want really, clever, banter! That's got to be such a gift in a good marriage.

Anyhow...that's not everything....but some "food-for-thought" when you are out there looking to set-me-up. You are looking, aren't you? Don't leave me out here alone people....it's SLIM PICKIN'S! Don't ANY of you have some single, stretch-mark-loving, freckle-adoring, PATIENT, men as brother's/uncles/or distant cousins? Okay....well, we don't have to tell these unsuspecting lads about the stretch marks until they really, really, really like me. How's that for a singles ad? Huh? Any takers? Did I mention I can cook? (That's a lie too.)

Umm....anyone? Anyone?

Okay...maybe I'll just go eat a bowl of cereal and go to bed. Thanks for listening. Love y'all.

Wake me around noon...

Last night before bed, McKenna brought in her plastic, toy alarm clock and (very seriously) told me she was "setting it" to wake up the next day. She pointed to her specific time she'd chosen -- and I agreed that it was a perfect time to wake up (12:00 - I wish!). She went off to her room and put it in her bed by her pillow. That was cute, but not nearly as cute as this morning when I awoke...

McKenna often crawls in bed with me in the middle of the night. I awoke this morning to find her, a stuffed duck, AND the alarm clock in bed with me. Apparently, she had woke up in the middle of the night and (in the dark & half asleep) was coherent enough to remember she had her "alarm" set. I snuck out of bed so I could snap some quick pictures.

When she woke up a half an hour later, she came in to me and reported that she had indeed -- woke up ON TIME! Good news, for sure! So precious. Half the time she can't even wake herself up to pee...but the fake alarm clock is not going to slip her mind. Makes sense to me!

That same morning, at breakfast, McKenna got up while watching cartoons and left the room...mid-Capt'n Crunch! A minute later I looked up and she was sitting there, in front of the t.v. -- with her sunglasses on. It was especially bright there in the livingroom...but rather than whine about it - she solved her own problem! So cute.

Can I get extra guacamole on that?

My friend's blog has sort of a "tag-you're-it!" challenge on it. She listed ten random things about herself...and challenged us to do the same. It was a fun idea, I thought, so here it goes:

Ten Random Things About Me

1. I think that avacado (especially guacamole) is an aphrodisiac.

2. This April 2009, I get to go to WICKED (the broadway musical). This is on my "bucket list", so needless to say, I'm excited!

3. I am a Democrat.

4. One of my biggest passions is taking pictures with my camera.

5. I get fussy when I've waited too long to eat.

6. I want to be fluent in sign language someday in the near future.

7. Holding newborn babies makes me absolutely, deliriously, fantastically happy and at peace. I could sit there for hours on end.

8. I want to write children's books.

9. I want to marry a guy like Jack Black in the movie, "The Holiday" or like "Forney" in the movie "Where the Heart Is".

10. I'm frightfully allergic to the antibiotic, Amoxicillin.

Okay, people, your turn! TAG! YOU'RE IT! Have fun with it. I hope you all had a good weekend and I look forward to hearing from you!

"Ewwww! Ewwww! Ewwwwwwwww!!"

We woke up yesterday morning to find a note on our bathroom mirror. It read:

"Berkeley,
The POO PARTY we had in your mouth last night was so awesome! You're teeth are PERFECT for storage of our #2 doo doo! We've even started drilling some holes to make space for our party in your mouth tonight! We're calling it:

"POO -- PART TWO!!"

You kept closing your mouth while we were trying to clean up, so it wasn't easy in the dark. But we think we got most of it.

Sincerely, Your Teeth Bugs".

Initially...Berk didn't say a word about the note. When I got up and looked at the mirror though...I made a huge deal about it. She just looked at me and said..."I already read it. You did it, I know." I started laughing and denied it. In fact, I told her that it wasn't there when I got up to use the restroom at three in the morning. THAT is when the doubt began (evil parent laugh in my mind...)!

She started getting quiet. Here and there she would say to me "You DIDN'T write it?". Then a minute later she said "Mom, how do you think they wrote the note?" I wasn't sure. A minute later...she said "Well, my mouth DOES feel a little different this morning..." We checked inside...I told her I couldn't see anything...but she might want to check her pillow case to be sure. So she went in her room. All I could hear after that was ""Ewwww! Ewwww! Ewwwwwwwww! Ew! Ew! Ew!" She came in with her pillow and you wouldn't believe it. A one-inch brown mark was right there where her mouth would have been laying! SUPER gross! So -- she ripped off the pillow case and we put it in the laundry basket. She went and brushed her teeth immediately, followed by mouth wash. Then I had to smell her breath to make sure it didn't smell like...well...poo.

Parents...this might be a lesson to your children!!!

Berk (standing beside me now) and I decided to post it

so you could teach your children from her experience --

Hopefully, YOUR teeth bugs will stay away!

ROFLMBO.