No, I won't explain the title to you...it's a gift for someone special.
I just wanted to ramble today about my frustrations with being single again and dating. I've discovered a lot about myself in the two years that I've been single -- and it may take a miracle to find a man "qualified" that will marry me. My requirements don't seem weird to me....but then sometimes I wonder if I expect too much ? Let's post these frustrations and requirements publically for you "marrieds" to look at...and silently 'revel' in the fact that you are NOT in my similar position....
1. I've discovered that I am a bit high maintenence. Not in the DEMANDING way...at least....I don't think in that way. I just expect the people who want to date me (steadily) - to actually want to spend TIME with me -- other than texting, IM-ing, or on email. I can't just see "him" once a week.....anyone can be on their best behavior once a week! We need to be around one another when we are ornery, sick, annoying, silly, happy, sad, talking to ourselves....ALL of that.
2. Honestly....this has nothing to do with money....but I am so sick of meeting men who don't have a steady income/job...but want a steady woman/family! Especially now that I have kids...I need to know my man is going to be able to support us. I'll help/work too, I don't mind helping at all. In fact...I WANT to be a part of it all. But long bouts of unemployment, iffy jobs that may/may not "take off", or little part time jobs (--where you are unhappy but not looking to improve your life --) makes you a red flag for instability later on. That is scary to a woman! Men who are in school are in a different situation and I get that - but women can also see a man's goals to move forward - and she can put faith in the 'end goal' too. Again, this has nothing to do with having money. I would rather be poor with my best friend, than lonely with a loveless marriage.
3. Third, and this might still be under the "high maintenence category...", but I have learned that I need a patient man who can listen to me ramble. This may come as a total SHOCK to you all...but I talk a lot. It's something that just developed in me recently (like at birth) and it's part of who I am. But I've learned that I need "my man" to know that I just need to talk it out....then I'm better. He doesn't need to fix it for me, he just needs to actually listen and talk about it with me. He already knows I'm smart enough to know the right answers and he only makes suggestions when I ask for them...or when the moon isn't full. However, this man also knows how to "shut me up" in a way where I won't argue back too! ;-) Are there still men this patient out there?
4. Next...A guy needs to somehow, by an act of God, think that I am somewhat "cute" with my ponytail hair. That is my favorite way to put my hair when I am at home. It isn't the most attractive look for me (it may be my worst) but HE has to somehow find "sexy" mixed up in all that. Is this possible? I am not sure.
5. The men I date must be not living with their mother (without good reason). You can love your Momma. You can adore your Momma. But no Momma's Boys.
6. The man I date needs to be funny. He cannot just THINK he is funny....but actually BE funny. I need laughter in my life! I want to make him laugh outloud (and not because of the ponytail hair)...and I want him to be able to catch me off guard with his remarks! I don't want "fart humor" (but most men come with that built in) -- I want really, clever, banter! That's got to be such a gift in a good marriage.
Anyhow...that's not everything....but some "food-for-thought" when you are out there looking to set-me-up. You are looking, aren't you? Don't leave me out here alone people....it's SLIM PICKIN'S! Don't ANY of you have some single, stretch-mark-loving, freckle-adoring, PATIENT, men as brother's/uncles/or distant cousins? Okay....well, we don't have to tell these unsuspecting lads about the stretch marks until they really, really, really like me. How's that for a singles ad? Huh? Any takers? Did I mention I can cook? (That's a lie too.)
Umm....anyone? Anyone?
Okay...maybe I'll just go eat a bowl of cereal and go to bed. Thanks for listening. Love y'all.
I just wanted to ramble today about my frustrations with being single again and dating. I've discovered a lot about myself in the two years that I've been single -- and it may take a miracle to find a man "qualified" that will marry me. My requirements don't seem weird to me....but then sometimes I wonder if I expect too much ? Let's post these frustrations and requirements publically for you "marrieds" to look at...and silently 'revel' in the fact that you are NOT in my similar position....
1. I've discovered that I am a bit high maintenence. Not in the DEMANDING way...at least....I don't think in that way. I just expect the people who want to date me (steadily) - to actually want to spend TIME with me -- other than texting, IM-ing, or on email. I can't just see "him" once a week.....anyone can be on their best behavior once a week! We need to be around one another when we are ornery, sick, annoying, silly, happy, sad, talking to ourselves....ALL of that.
2. Honestly....this has nothing to do with money....but I am so sick of meeting men who don't have a steady income/job...but want a steady woman/family! Especially now that I have kids...I need to know my man is going to be able to support us. I'll help/work too, I don't mind helping at all. In fact...I WANT to be a part of it all. But long bouts of unemployment, iffy jobs that may/may not "take off", or little part time jobs (--where you are unhappy but not looking to improve your life --) makes you a red flag for instability later on. That is scary to a woman! Men who are in school are in a different situation and I get that - but women can also see a man's goals to move forward - and she can put faith in the 'end goal' too. Again, this has nothing to do with having money. I would rather be poor with my best friend, than lonely with a loveless marriage.
3. Third, and this might still be under the "high maintenence category...", but I have learned that I need a patient man who can listen to me ramble. This may come as a total SHOCK to you all...but I talk a lot. It's something that just developed in me recently (like at birth) and it's part of who I am. But I've learned that I need "my man" to know that I just need to talk it out....then I'm better. He doesn't need to fix it for me, he just needs to actually listen and talk about it with me. He already knows I'm smart enough to know the right answers and he only makes suggestions when I ask for them...or when the moon isn't full. However, this man also knows how to "shut me up" in a way where I won't argue back too! ;-) Are there still men this patient out there?
4. Next...A guy needs to somehow, by an act of God, think that I am somewhat "cute" with my ponytail hair. That is my favorite way to put my hair when I am at home. It isn't the most attractive look for me (it may be my worst) but HE has to somehow find "sexy" mixed up in all that. Is this possible? I am not sure.
5. The men I date must be not living with their mother (without good reason). You can love your Momma. You can adore your Momma. But no Momma's Boys.
6. The man I date needs to be funny. He cannot just THINK he is funny....but actually BE funny. I need laughter in my life! I want to make him laugh outloud (and not because of the ponytail hair)...and I want him to be able to catch me off guard with his remarks! I don't want "fart humor" (but most men come with that built in) -- I want really, clever, banter! That's got to be such a gift in a good marriage.
Anyhow...that's not everything....but some "food-for-thought" when you are out there looking to set-me-up. You are looking, aren't you? Don't leave me out here alone people....it's SLIM PICKIN'S! Don't ANY of you have some single, stretch-mark-loving, freckle-adoring, PATIENT, men as brother's/uncles/or distant cousins? Okay....well, we don't have to tell these unsuspecting lads about the stretch marks until they really, really, really like me. How's that for a singles ad? Huh? Any takers? Did I mention I can cook? (That's a lie too.)
Umm....anyone? Anyone?
Okay...maybe I'll just go eat a bowl of cereal and go to bed. Thanks for listening. Love y'all.
13 comments:
An athiest and a ho meet at the library... must be a spechul friend?
I think this blog post is you rambling around the house for the day, the lightbulb went off and u decided to write it down. Ur So Silly! I DO know someone like that, he IS my distant cousin! Unfortunately, he's Urs too.
I hope that it is a high payin' ho!
why don't you just move in with us, you can be the sister wife. We will take you as is! and your cute kids! I could use some good help with cleaning my house and raising my kids. Lance won't mind!
love ya
Oh Mel! Although your standards may be too high for men :0), all of the women who read this agree with you! Why CAN'T we have it all?!? No, really, any guy would be sooo lucky to have you! Keep looking....he's out there...maybe even reading your blog right now and trying to make improvements so he's worthy of you.........
I thought you were talking about me and your brother, but he's not an atheist and I'm not a ho anymore! Oh well.
So you don't want to be anyone's sugar-mama? Although it has its perks, I can see your point. Next time, no marrying for love...I'm marrying for money! ;)
Mel, I promise you will find someone...as soon as you stop looking! That's always how it happens. When you're just living your life, minding your own business, doing just fine...that's the most attractive thing to the "good" ones. I have faith in you, grasshopper!
Thank you Mel! What is it about guys and not having steady employment or not finishing school when they are so close? I am totally with you 100%!
Oh, yah, and I want to marry for love too! Oops...should have put that part in! LOL Callee...I'm packing my bags and headed out to be Sista-Wife Didericksen! Thanks! I thought you'd NEVER ask!
Nina...what's this "Im not a ho...anymore!" ? That's the quote/confession of the week! I love it. You make me laugh! I do need to stop looking for "the" man, but how does one not look? I know, I know, I need a hobby.
Carrie...I'm pretty sure that after the GYNO initiation into my blog...NO MAN will EVER read my blog again! LOL You are sweet.
Blaise..who is this cousin you speak of?
Heather...perhaps I will set you up soon. I know a guy in my ward. He's a teacher...he likes movies...he is nice...
THANKS FOR THE ENCOURAGEMENT EVERYONE! LOVE YOU!
OMG! LMAO!
Ur asking which cousin like ur interested!
Dustin. I love him to pieces. I wish he didnt smoke, but he's funny, he listens, he's an all around good guy, except he smokes.
You turkey! I am NOT asking like I am interested!! Perv! I just couldn't think of any DISTANT male cousins. Dustin was the only male cousin I could think of...and he is not considered distant, is he?
I dunno ... step inside his head for a minute, he's pretty distant!
;)
Mel, I think I'm with Blaise, you did sound kinda interested. Too bad he's your cousin.
I definitely agree with everyone else too, you will find someone. How could you not? Humor, intelligence, kindness, generosity, good looks AND barbies?!?? C'mon, what more could a man want? Seriously girl, you have it going on.
Julie Louise Elizabeth Hogan Madsen.....Don't encourage my sister's incestual thoughts! LOL It sounded like that, huh? Sorry everyone, not my intent...at ALL. I will say though, that if Cousin Dustin and I did marry...we'd have the FRECKL-IEST kids on the planet. He's got more than I do! So, no incest for me....no matter what I said/sounded like/ or implied unintentionally.....etc.
Thanks for your sweet compliments. I appreciate them. They keep a chubby, liberal, sassy- mouthed, single-Mom going.
I guess I could list on my singles profile that I have a "barbie figure"....I just won't mention that it is separate from my own...and hangs out in the girls bedroom!
Love ya!
I'm open to any setting ups people want to do. I think being a teacher really stunts any growth in the dating field. Is he cute?
You forgot the "Mona Lisa" and the "Ho", but otherwise did an astoundingly good job at remembering my made up middle names. I forgot to add "excellent memory" to your fine list of qualities.
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